Mud, Sweat, and Tears (Trailer Park Princess) Read online

  Easter Sunday morning dawned bright, the sky a brilliant blue with just enough wispy white clouds to look dreamy. The days after a sandstorm were often like that; it was as if God had given the sky a good scrub. I would have preferred a non-abrasive cleaner, but who was I to tell the Creator of the Universe how to do His job?

  My ankle was sore, but I was in a good enough mood that I decided to suck it up and put on my Sunday sandals anyway. I had planned to stop at the convenience store and pick up a paper on the way to church, when Frank stopped by holding a copy in his hand.

  “Oooh, let me see!” I said, dropping onto the ottoman and reaching for the paper. “I think Viv and I made the paper.”

  As soon as I snapped it open, though, my heart fell. My picture was not on page one above the fold. No sirree. Instead, there was Bobby’s obnoxiously grinning mug, handing the ball to Garrett West, who stood grinning back in his tux, one hand also on the ball. The article said that Dean had admitted, once confronted, that he’d stolen the football and planned to sell it to a collector. “The way I saw it – and the way I still see it – is that I didn’t steal anything. I took what was taken from me ten years ago. I guess there is no justice for people like me.”

  “What an obnoxious whiny-baby,” I said. But still, that didn’t even touch Bobby’s level of obnoxiousness, grinning like an idiot with Garrett West. Bobby never grinned. He was much too cool. He was doing that for me, I was sure, so he could say, “Haha, look who’s actually on the front page of the paper.”

  “That rat fink,” I muttered.

  “Hey, Lent is over,” Frank said. “You can cuss now.”

  My phone rang and I picked it up.

  “You made the paper!” she crowed.

  “No, I didn’t. Bobby did. The rat fink.”

  “It’s Easter Sunday,” she said. “Lent is over. You can cuss now.”

  “I can’t,” I said miserably. “It doesn’t feel right to cuss on Easter Sunday, even if Lent is over. But I can’t believe that jerkhole took our photo opp. I was going to cut that out and hang it on my wall for inspiration. When am I going to get another chance to get my picture in the paper?”

  “Salem, you’re in there. Check Section D – Lifestyles.”

  I flipped through the Sunday circulars and found Section D.

  Sure enough, there I was. Hanging upside down from Maniac Mountain, my red face indicating near-stroke levels. And even though it was Easter Sunday, I said every bad word I’d been saving for the past forty days.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Kim Hunt Harris is the award-winning author of the Trailer Park Princess comic mystery series.

  Kim knew she wanted to be a writer before she even knew how to write. When her parents read bedtime stories to her, she knew she wanted to be a part of the story world. She started out writing children’s stories, and her stories grew as she did. She discovered a gift for humor and a love for making people laugh with her tales, and the Trailer Park Princess series was born.

  Kim loves to not only make her readers laugh and entertain them with a good mystery, but also to examine the issues the everyday people face…well, every day. Issues like faith and forgiveness, perseverance and tolerance. Set in Lubbock, Texas, the fun books feature a cast of quirky characters, outrageous situations, a drama queen of a dog, and from time to time, a tear or two.

  Kim lives with her husband of more than thirty years and two teenage kids in Lubbock, TX.

  Want to get special updates and unreleased content from The Trailer Park Princess Series? Sign up for my newsletter and get exclusive short stories available to subscribers only! Go to www.FreeBooksFromKim.com

  Want more Salem and Viv? Get the first book in the Trailer Park Princess Cozy Mystery Series.

  The Middle Finger of Fate (A Trailer Park Princess Cozy Mystery Book 1)

  All Salem Grimes expects as she walks into the church is her regular Tuesday morning AA meeting, but when she encounters a dead body instead, she does what any self-respecting clueless amateur would do -- she freaks completely out and shouts words good Christians aren't even supposed to know.

  But when Salem learns that her ex-husband Tony is accused of the murder, she wonders if God might be steering her toward a chance of helping him and thereby redeeming herself -- or at least a chance to make up for the pain she caused him when they were married and she was drinking.

  With the help of her new octogenarian BFF Viv and the emotional support of her dog Stump, can Salem keep her act together long enough to sow some good seeds for a change?

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  The Trailer Park Princess with Unsightly Bulges (Series Book 2)

  Another day, another dead body. It's all in a day of the life of Salem Grimes.

  Salem Grimes figures even a God who works in mysterious ways wouldn’t resort to a dead body in a dumpster in answer to Salem’s prayers to help her stay on her diet – excuse me – Strat-EAT-gic plan. But a dead body in a dumpster it is, and now Salem and Viv, her octogenarian partner-in-crime-solving, are on the case once again. Salem finds the search for the killer a satisfactory distraction from all the things she needs distraction from – “dates” with the husband she hasn’t known for the past decade and growing jealousy of Viv’s friendship with Dale-the-Annoying-Hanger-On.

  As she seeks peace amidst praying prairie dogs and too much Chinese food, Salem struggles to disentangle what she believes from what she thinks she should believe, and – most frightening of all, the possibility that she might have to figure out for herself just where the truth lies. Oh, and avoid a murderer on the loose, if she can manage it.

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  The Trailer Park Princess is Caught in the Crotchfire (Series Book 3)

  Armed only with Salem's "Smart-Enuff" phone and Viv's racing model Cadillac (with aggressive acceleration!), these two amateur super-sleuths are set to catch the gang of armed robbers terrorizing G-Ma's neighborhood... if for no other reason than to stop G-Ma's panic-stricken calls to Salem every time a car drives by. The only problem: they have no leads, no clues, and they've accidentally gotten themselves arrested for "moral crimes."

  As Salem tackles another investigation, she's also confronted with the nagging suspicion that she won't be able to move forward in her relationship with husband Tony if she can't face the Herculean task of forgiving her own mother - something she has little desire to do. While she mentally recites the Bible verse "love never fails" a thousand times a day, Salem joins pal Viv in racing around the streets of Lubbock, searching for the High Point Bandits and trying not to get "caught in the crotchfire."

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